Chin Ting Chan | composer
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Random thoughts

4/30/2013

0 Comments

 
I am proud to say that I have earned everything by myself, from the start of my music career. School has taught me (beat me to death to teach me) that no one will ever give me an opportunity unless I fight for it. I fought VERY HARD, not because I think I am better than others, but because if I don't fight, I will not survive.

I still remember how miserable I was when I first started my doctoral study at UMKC... I shouldn't have been.

Not that I really believe in myself - actually, I don't believe in myself that much - I never really expected to win anything, and I never thought I deserve any award or stuff; I entered to many competitions nonetheless, not thinking that I might win, but thinking, "this is the only way out."

I have represented UMKC on many occasions, both nationally and internationally. I am, for the first time, proud to say that I deserve this award, the doctoral fellowship from the school. Yes, today I received this good news.

The fact is, if they have had given me a rejection, the world would still go on, and I would have treated it like one of the 200 rejection letters I keep in my email, and forget about it in a minute. Is this sad? am I so desperate? or maybe it's just life.

For the first time in my life, I can pay rent and food for myself. Yup, pathetic graduate student.
0 Comments

    Patrick Chan

    Welcome! Please feel free to leave some comments. Also, check out the music page and many full audio samples!

    Picture
    @ IRCAM ManiFeste 2013

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  • Home。主頁
  • About。簡介
  • Music。音樂
    • Large Ensemble >
      • Deform and Reform
      • Qing Ming
      • Dust Devil
      • Untitled
      • Falling Stars
      • Shadow Play
      • time, unfolding
      • Veiled Light
      • Apparitions - a fantasy for chamber ensemble
      • Fanfare for Brass and Percussion
      • Symphonic Movements
    • Chamber >
      • Invisible Canvas
      • flying ink, fainting light
      • Fracture
      • fuse V
      • fuse IV
      • fuse III
      • fuse II
      • fuse
      • In-pulse
      • Don't Look
      • Ictus
      • (dif)fused
      • Double Exposure
      • Flying Ink
      • Fractals
      • Double Waves
      • Drift
      • reaching up, touching down
      • Friction
      • Cross-strings
      • Thread
      • Axis
      • Mirage
      • re[sou]nding
      • Crosswind
      • Anemoi
      • ...and see it vanish
      • Icebergs
      • Moments
      • Haengma
      • Acoustic Field
      • Five Songs of the Von Seggerns
      • Saxophone Quartet
      • Elegy for Clarinet and Piano
      • Transfiguration
      • Caprice for String Quartet
      • Duo for Two Flutists
      • Trio for Violin, Clarinet and Marimba
      • Trio for Horn, Cello and Piano
      • Woodwind Quintet in C
      • String Quartet in A minor
    • Solo >
      • Ripple
      • Insight I
      • Flare
      • Postcards
      • Central
      • ...remembering Glenn
      • Cross-currents
      • Flurry
      • Shape of Wind
      • Shattered Wind
      • Five Etudes for Solo Piano
      • Suite for Solo Cello
      • Fantasy for Solo B-flat Clarinet
    • Electroacoustic >
      • Water Dust
      • Glitchdrops
      • Resonant Collision IV
      • Resonant Collision III
      • Resonant Collision II
      • Resonant Collision
      • 52 Blue
      • Mirror Sculpture
      • Shadow Objects
      • Stutter
      • Reel
      • Elements
      • Moment Studies
      • Static
      • Rituals
      • tempora mutantur
      • Whispers of Time
      • time, forward
      • Katachi IV
      • Stargaze
      • Katachi III
      • Katachi II
      • Katachi I
      • Awakening
      • Improvisations
      • Oceanus
      • Zone 23
      • Of Metals and Electrons
      • Three Episodes
  • Listen。聆聽
  • software。程式
    • mapping
    • matrixes
    • multiplication
    • pitch sets
    • set variants
  • Contact。聯絡