I am so frustrated - I wish I am a millionaire, so I can hire all these musicians to play my music... Most of the time, I just want to have a piece played one---at least they get heard---then I can put them aside... I know I am not writing great music, or even good music, but it is my wish that my music is worth hearing at least once. I don't care how many audience I have---hopefully there is more than one---it is my hope that my music says something to my audience. It might be a small audience, but that's fine.

I love to work with performers---it is usually a fantastic opportunity, and it's really fun. It is one of the reasons that keeps me writing more music, but I don't get the chance very often. Sometimes, I think I might better off be a performer to fulfill this wish.

How do I write great music?... no... no... how do I write music that people would like to play?

I am extremely frustrated... I will keep on composing, even if my music doesn't get played, but I have to admit that it is very difficult... very very difficult...

I went to a masterclass by Robert Morris today. It was great. He completely dissolved all the pieces in great detail. His analytical skill was quite impressive. Then, a few of us, with Dr. Kuehn, went to a Japanese restaurant (the food was terrible) to have lunch.

I really like putting superficial elements into my compositions. I recently did a Schenker analysis on the first quarter section of my thesis piece, and found that I might as well write the whole piece in sonata form!--yes, I am working on the development of it--but who will hear it? I won't. The Schenker analysis did help me a lot with composing, with figuring out or planning out the structural pitches and registers/contours of sounds and tessitura. This piece is a lot about tension and release.

This weekend is gonna be sleepless for me... I need to somehow start thinking about my Max/MSP piece for next Tuesday. I really wish I have more time to just sit at the computer messing around with the program, but this thesis piece is really demanding--not that I have to finish it before the end of the semester, but at least I should aim for it...

Assuming that I don't write the exact same notes as Mozart did for his Symphony No. 40 or whatever, even if I happen to write many same notes, the fact that I am writing it in this period of the history and at this different location of the world and for a different group of performers and audience, I am writing new music. A lot of things have been done in music, that's true, but the way how I, or any other composer write a piece, even though it might have the exact same notes or even formatting/layout of the score, creates new music because it requires new sort of communications among musicians and audiences.

We don't write in the style of Beethoven anymore because we have heard so many new sounds and that create so much more possibility in musical expression. I am sure that has Debussy heard the music of today, he'll write... like Takemitsu?! Wait... does egg or chicken come first...?

#

I am so exciting about the upcoming 31st Annual New Music Festival hosted by MACCM! We have Robert Morris as the guest composer this year.

I bought a new pair of Westone UM3X from an ebay few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had to return it to the manufacturer because of a dislodged part inside the left-ear unit, which causes reduced sound quality. I couldn't get a return from the ebay seller, but I was so glad that the manufacturer was willing to exchange a brand new item for me, and my new pair arrived yesterday. Seriously, this is the best earphone I have ever used. I am happy.

Four of the five adventurists continued our journey today for another concert! We drove to University of Michigan, met up Andy Ly and other friends, and saw the Mariinsky Orchestra in the Hill Auditorium, with Valery Geriev conducting and Denis Matsuev on the piano. The Rachmaninoff 3rd piano concerto was amazing. The balance on the orchestra part was so well-controlled; the pianist was amazing. Somehow they arranged the brass to the right of the stage and basses lining up in the back, which is sort of weird... The Mahler 5th was emotionally intense; Maestro Geriev conducts without a baton and has some really interesting conducting gestures.

We then hung out at an Irish pub. I met Evan Chambers, and that was great! He plays in an irish band, isn't that cool?

We five adventurists get up at 4:00 in the morning on this cold Saturday morning, headed off to the Cuyahoga Valley National Park near Cleveland! The morning was crudely cold. As usual, I brought my huge camera bag and my tripod. Photos will be updated to my Gallery soon. After hiking a few trails, we took the best nap lying on some blankets in a random shaded ground. Yes, I didn't sleep last night... It was a great trip, except that we missed the sunrise ---- not that I need to photograph that, because the moment of sunrise usually creates too much contrast; it's the even lighting situation that the sunrise creates that is interesting.

8:00p.m was a concert in Severance Hall, Cleveland with the Cleveland Orchestra, Semyon Bychkov conducting Brahms Symphony No. 3, Ravel's La Valse and Rachmaninoff's Rhapsody on a theme of Paganini with Kirill Gerstein. The conductor was amazing in that his gestures were so natural and convincing, and they reflected exactly how the sound was shaped. It almost felt like the gestures were over-rehearsed though... It sort of lacked spontaneity. The capability of he orchestra's technique and force were no doubt stunning. The performances were almost too perfect... the conductor did tend to over-phase, and this resulted in that the phrases were fragmented and shortened at times. Let me add that the pianist's performance was so clean that powerful. In short, I enjoyed every single moment in the Severance Hall tonight.

Went to the "Musicians from SoundSCAPE" concert in BGSU tonight. Tony Arnold and Aiyun Huang came, together with Dr. Rosenkranz, they presented an amazing program with all contemporary (aside from a Webern song cycle) works. During Tony Arnold's performance of Aperghis's Recitations for voice 2b, someone in the audience just started laughing... rather loudly. Everything was fine besides that, and it was mostly an enjoyable night of cool music.