Frustration

I am so frustrated - I wish I am a millionaire, so I can hire all these musicians to play my music... Most of the time, I just want to have a piece played one---at least they get heard---then I can put them aside... I know I am not writing great music, or even good music, but it is my wish that my music is worth hearing at least once. I don't care how many audience I have---hopefully there is more than one---it is my hope that my music says something to my audience. It might be a small audience, but that's fine.

I love to work with performers---it is usually a fantastic opportunity, and it's really fun. It is one of the reasons that keeps me writing more music, but I don't get the chance very often. Sometimes, I think I might better off be a performer to fulfill this wish.

How do I write great music?... no... no... how do I write music that people would like to play?

I am extremely frustrated... I will keep on composing, even if my music doesn't get played, but I have to admit that it is very difficult... very very difficult...