I remember, a few years ago, a professor (not my applied instructor) told me that he hears no musicianship in a piece of mine. I believe it is the worst thing possible to say to a composer. Really, you can say how bad my piece is, be it technical, musical... I am even happy if you hate my music, because I have successfully triggered an emotion in you and that we have communicated with each other successfully... But, he completely denied any musicality in my music. Why then, should this piece, exist? It was also the first time I started to think, why should I be a composer? Am I necessary? Who needs me?
I started to realize that, besides loving music, I have continued to be a musician because I need to prove that I am a necessary existence. This is the same reason why I do photography. I have something to say, and I need an audience, even if there is only one --- even if I am only necessary to one person in this whole world, I am happy.
But, maybe it doesn't matter anymore... as long as my music needs me, and I need music.
I started to realize that, besides loving music, I have continued to be a musician because I need to prove that I am a necessary existence. This is the same reason why I do photography. I have something to say, and I need an audience, even if there is only one --- even if I am only necessary to one person in this whole world, I am happy.
But, maybe it doesn't matter anymore... as long as my music needs me, and I need music.
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